Tough week

This was a tough week in several ways... I've debated and debated about how much to share about work this week. Those of us in jobs that require confidentiality are sometimes burdened with "too much information" but we do take this quite seriously! Because this patient lived well outside our community, I feel confident that her confidentiality is maintained... all of that to say that one of our patients committed suicide within this last week. It was quite a shock to get this call from her husband (actually a forever "significant other"). She was in her 60's. She suffered with multiple medical problems including chronic pain. She had been my patient for 6 years now. Monday was such a tough day... I basically cried my way through work. This brings up many, many more questions than it does answers. There is little comfort in a death like this. Tragic is the best word to describe it I guess. It is still unbelievable and very, very difficult not to feel like we've failed in our care in this situation. It was so difficult to talk to her husband on the phone. What do you say??? I mostly listened. He was so reassuring to me though, so complimentary about our care; how they both were touched by the love and compassion felt in our office... How can someone going through so much pain actually find within themself the ability to comfort another?

On other happy notes, Madison and I finished our cake decorating class last night. She made a wonderful "Wilton rose"... much better than mine! We had a lot of fun taking this class together.

She also had a softball game tonight and her team won 14-1. She had 2 singles and a double. The bad part... it was past time to leave for the game and she was still searching for her glove!! Very frustrating! We've told her TOO many times to put things away in the same place (like her bat bag) so she knows where things are. We've pretty much searched everywhere we could, including the ball park. She used my glove tonight, which is too big. The consequence is yet to come but she will have to buy her own new glove now... and with what money I ask???... she only has her Indy spending money now. Ouch! Sometimes parenting down right HURTS! How else will kids learn lessons? She certainly won't learn one if we whip out our check book and pay for it ourselves. She knows this money source is a possibility but we are all hoping the glove is found before her next game. The Indy trip is next week... I wonder what will happen first?

Not too much energy left for this week. Treading water. Love, Leah