Is it Tuesday?

It felt like a Tuesday today because it was only my 2nd day at work this week. Weird! It was actually good that I was there because I was quite busy the whole day... it does make the day go super fast. I had my evaluation today and I was told that as soon as I say the words "full-time" ... their answer would be yes, right away. They've asked me too many times for me to remember, to go full-time. They used to just hint around at it, then they kind of "dream of what we could do if only...." and now they just flat out ask me about it. My answer has always been the same. The #1 reason I went back to school was so that I could be home in the morning and afternoon for the kids. I didn't get to do that much the first 5-8 years of their short lives. SOoooo, today, he (Vladimir) is now back to the "hinting around" about going full-time but he also told me that he was so happy that I have made my values and priorities very clear the last couple of years and that he respected me for taking a stand on them when it isn't easy to do in today's working world. YES! ... I've always been plagued by guilt, pretty much no matter what it seems. Guilty that I'm not at home more, guilty that I'm not at work more, guilty that I say no, guilty that I say yes, guilty that I have to be gone for an evening for an educational event, guilty that I'm NOT gone for an evening for education. I just can't win with myself! I have to give myself pep talks every now and then. When I'm resting in Christ, I have no reason to be guilty! If I've "covered" it all with Him and am acting according to what His will is for me now, why do I feel this way? I think some of it is natural for a mother... but some of it is the enemy, happy to leave me discontented. My prayer has many times been to arrive at the same feeling as Paul, in Philippians 4:11-13 which says this...

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

I was totally not planning on a sermonette tonight... I really didn't even know what I was going to say tonight when I sat down at the computer but these words just flowed out. Perhaps this will be an encouragement for some one who needs this scripture tonight as often as I do.

Love to all, Leah