The day our world changed forever

November 7, 2009 at 2:30 AM

This was the exact time that our world was shattered with a phone call. To make a very long story short my sister-in-law Michelle(38), very suddenly passed away while almost 5 months pregnant. The pain that we've experienced in the last two months has been incredible. I've decided that there are no words in our language to describe it. It has been the most painful experience of my life. Michelle and her growing baby girl Leila left behind Archie and their beautiful four-year-old daughter Jade. Archie was in Iraq this time and it took him 54 hours of travel time to make it home to our family. What incredibly long days those two and a half days were while waiting for him to arrive. We held memorial services both in Goshen and in Kalona, IA where Michelle is buried next to her brother Don. It seems like such a short time since they lost their stillborn baby girl, Emina, last December when Michelle was eight months pregnant. I miss Michelle so much. I miss the looks that we could give each other and understand what we were thinking, without having to speak. I miss being able to text her and getting her texts to me, telling me the funny things that Jade said that day. Michelle spent a lot of the last four years in Goshen while Archie has traveled for the military. We usually saw each other about three times a week. I am very often reminded of her while listening to Jade, through the inflections in her voice and watching her mannerisms. Archie is accepting the military's compassionate reassignment and is not deploying back to Iraq even though he was supposed to be there until August of 2010. He will be returning to Fort Riley, Kansas where they had previously been based until sometime this next summer. We fully support Archie and his decision not to move Jade around at this point and keep her near family here locally. I feel so bad that Archie has to get their belongings out of storage and set up a home all by himself this time. When Archie is unavailable for decisions, Tony and I have legal guardianship for her. Madison and Jade are sharing a bedroom. It will be interesting to see how a 13-year-old and a four-year-old get along as roommates. Madison has had an incredible attitude through this whole situation. She and her and her Aunt Michelle were very close. They texted each other often and Madison would often spend the night with Michelle and Jade, Beppe and Pakka too. This situation has made Madison grow up even more. She has been a great help with Jade, even though they both are going through their own grieving processes. Unfortunately we have had to learn a lot about grief, what it's like for adults to grieve, and what it's like for children to grieve. We fully understand that this is a day by day process and will take a very long time to get through, if you ever "get through it." Archie has been here now nearly 2 months. He leaves for Kansas on January 6 and our "new normal" starts again then. We will miss him so much. Jade and her daddy are so close, it will be tough on both of them. We aren't sure what the next several months or even years look like. I expect there to be more trips than usual to Iowa since this will be halfway for each of us, both of us traveling six hours and meeting in the middle. I'm so thankful that he didn't have to go back to Iraq! So many of you have been such a big help to us these last two months. Honestly I don't know that we could have ever made it without our faith, our friends, and of course our family. We certainly appreciate your continued support and prayers for the coming weeks and months ahead. We love you all and can feel that you love us too. We sincerely thank you.